Random things my students/co-workers/friends say

So, I've decided to make a post that I might keep updating, (depending how I feel) about the random amusing things that I get to hear in Korea.

My friends:
"You're so calm - like a Buddha!"
"It's so relaxing being around you."
"Mandy, you're so refreshing - even though you can be quiet, you always come up with thoughtful contributions to the conversation that make it feel like it pulls everything together."
"I feel like I can be myself around you; that I don't have to be anyone else"
"I wish I was a mermaid! Wait, how do mermaids have sex?"
"Look! A whale!" Others: "are you sure it wasn't garbage?" 1st one: "I know what I saw, and I saw what I know!"


Co-teachers:
"Amanda, you don't need to diet, but we do!" *ahem - never thought I needed to - and umm...sure you do...*
"I don't like kids - I only like babies"
"Amanda, your body hair (arms) has turned white."
"The other teachers want to be close to you, but they're scared to talk to you (in English)"
"Do you think I should have another baby? I want your opinion."
"Your lunch is so little!'
"The principal decided that the Friday after the last day of the semester, all of the teachers will go on a hiking trip together." Me: 'YES!!!' Her: "But I don't really want to go because I don't like hiking, but I have to because the principal decided it.  And I think all the other teachers really want to go hiking with you."
"When do you get paid? You should treat us for dinner."
"Amanda, your skin color changed.  I understand that westerners like that, but for Koreans, we don't. We like white skin. I don't understand why foreigners do tanning."
"After the open class, I told the homeroom teachers we taught the whole lesson in English.  They didn't like that."
"Oh! You're eating a lot today! Good! Good job!"
"Why do you look so happy? It was only a twenty minute break."
"Do you need to know Korean?"
Me: "I saw a mouse today" Co-teacher: "Did you say hello to it?  I think you like all animals"
"You eat so little and sleep so little, but you have so much voice! You must be Superman!"
"I like making you draw things, because I can't!"
"Why are you always so happy on Mondays? I hate Mondays. I always think wow when I see you so happy."
"I think you need an oxygen mask."
"You don't like shopping? Usually women do though...guys must really like you."



Other staff:
After trying unsuccessfully to talk to me by using Google Translate: "Google shit!"
"You went to Odongdo? Next time, you go with us - we your guides!"
"Amanda - we be your Korean teachers! You be our English teacher! Call?"
"You don't want to drink soju or beer? Are you Christian? I think you don't want to drink beer because you're Christian."  uhh...but that's not the reason why though...
"Amanda, call me oppa." Other guy: "Oppa? You mean 'appa'! *laughs* Amanda, you call him appa, and me oppa."
"Went to a beach on the weekend - there were foreigners there, wearing bikinis *scandalized look* and then some of them took off the tops of their bikinis. Why???"
After a workshop on the topic of Canada Day - "Amanda, your country, my style."
After refusing a car ride home, "You like walking???"
"Your face turned so red! You look like an apple!"
"Here Amanda, ice coffee. DRINK!!!!!!!!"
"Thank you equals ice-cream."
"Amanda, let's go hiking in Seongsan park" (funny because you can't really hike in this park - walk maybe...)
"You're big!" Me: "I'm big?!" "Ah, no! I meant you're tall!"
"You look similar to Lady Gaga."
"Why are you always outside? Are you lonely?"


Students:
"Are all foreigners skinny?"
"Can you Korean?" Me: 'A little bit...' "OK, Start!" Me: '안녕하세요...' *They all jump back with amazed expressions, say "Wow!" and all start talking at once.
"Are you 220 cm tall?"
"Have you ever been in a Miss Korea...oh...Miss Canada contest? No? Why not?"
A group of grade 5 girls hanging out at lunch time: two of them are play fighting - the girls watching say "They're lesbians!" Girls fighting come and hug me, saying "Amanda! She hit me! We're fighters!"
This one doesn't have to do with anything they said - but what they did - a lot of the younger girls like to hold my hands and start bouncing.  The other day, one grade four grabbed my hand and wouldn't let the others anywhere near me,  and then started rubbing her cheek on my arm.
One of my grade 3 girls notices I have a bandaid on my wrist - grabs my hand, starts rubbing my arm and blows on my bandaid.
"Your eyes are so shiny!"
"Amanda, we're doing Gangnam style in the elevator!" - student gets down on all fours to demonstrate and starts waving his butt around.
"I'm a girl!" - this from a male student, who followed this statement up with a very good impression of a female runway model
"They have man-man love."
"Oh! Eyes blue!?"
"You're prettier than Angelina Jolie"
"What are you talking about???"
"She will study her boyfriend."
"Amanda, you're so short!"
"He likes you!"
"How old are you? Really? You're so young!" (from a 11 year old)
"Amanda, spelling, hell..."
"What is English for..." (gesturing to her breast area)
"Amanda teacher, you smell beautiful."
After summer vacation - "Amanda, your eyes are blue??!" yep, still the same color, no need to be so shocked
"You should use tape..." (on my arms to get rid of the hair...)
"How many boyfriends do you have?" - not 'do you have one' but how many LOL
"Amanda teacher, married?" me: no...pause..."Oh.  Boyfriend?" me: no....longer pause "Oh...lover??"  Why do my grade 3s know the word lover??!
"Amanda - that boy...*points to another teacher* you love? *does the whole heart sign thing*" Me: "Uhh..no..."  A few minutes later - same thing repeated, but this time I answer, "I'm too old..." Student: "Oooohhhh!" and nods like this explains everything
"I love you Amanda!"
"Phone number? phone number? phone nuuummmmbbberrrrrr....."
"Amanda sem - you are Cinderella!"
"Amanda teacher - son of a bitch meaning is what?"
"Fur!"
The DAY after a student told me her name - "Why do you always forget my name? Finally you remember my name."
Me: "What do firefighters do?" Student: "They put out!"
"Where are your lenses? You look more beautiful with them."
Teaching students the phrase "Yes, I'd love to."  A couple students get too excited, and come out with, "Yes, I love you!"